How to build your own Sex Kit

The Short Version

TLDR: It's a guide on how to build a "pick up and go out to fuck" bag to suit yourself and your interests.

The Longer Version

A truly useful idea, a Sex Kit is a bag that comes preloaded for a sexual occasion, so that you can just pick it up and head out on a date, to meet up in a hotel room and fuck, or a weekend away with a girl training her into the perfect version of herself. I mostly use mine for training weekends and trips to hotels to break in new girls, and have refined the concept to a sharp edge. I'll share how I've found to be the best way to implement it here.

As always - take what works for you, discard what does not, and add what is uniquely your own.

How I do it is that I have a cheap (but expensive looking) overnight bag that I picked up for $4 from a second hand store, and a general list of standard contents along with some consumables (like lube, condoms, toy cleaner and those little disposable shampoo / bodywash bottles that you get from hotels in case the place you're going to is cheap and doesn't have any). My bag has three compartments, for simplicities sake I keep the tools of my trade in one section, the consumables in a side pocket, and my pyjamas, a change of clothes and the unique written down training plan / my notes of the evening in the third pocket.

My bag sits in my wardrobe, and is always ready to pick up, load up with a Bathroom Kit of my electric toothbrush, shaving kit, beard care gear (I keep these things in my bathroom as I use them daily) and then roll out with.

I also have a Backup Box which is a Converse shoe-box in my wardrobe where I have extra, less commonly used tools, extra consumables, and a few other bits and pieces.

Having a bag ready to go (or only needing the addition of a few personal items like a toothbrush, toothpaste, etc. means that you can just pick it up and go, it's one less thing to worry about and by "fixing" those variables you can pay more attention to things like the overall plan, the unique circumstances of the date and the actual training.

And you know, relaxing into intimacy with them, creating a deep connection and playing hard, fast and fun. See the bottom of this page for a shopping list with some links.

The Essentials

My current Sex Kit has gone through a few iterations, this is what I use right now:

  • A paper notebook and a pen - This is a crucial piece of kit for planning scenes and writing notes. Go low tech, Digital Minimalism style and avoid distractions.
  • A collar and leash - I bought a $20 purple nylon-webbing one for a large dog, with a single front clip and a matching leash from Kmart. Very useful for establishing authority and control, for gentle guidance with the leash and for petplay.
  • A set of leather wrist cuffs - I made these myself at a toymaking workshop. Super hardwearing.
  • Two Thick Dildos - Both are high quality silicone by Doc Johnson. One is the American Bombshell, a gently thickening design perfect for stretching out a girls holes over time, the other an 8 inch realistic looking white suction cup dildo cock, specifically chosen for blowjob training in the shower or against a mirror.
  • An Enema Kit - Very useful for anal training and cleaning things out.
  • A roll of plain black duct tape - From Bunnings. $2.50.
  • A roll of bondage tape - Mine is bright red, you can get this from any sex store it's essentially just duct tape that only sticks to itself. Watch for any restriction in circulation as there is no "give" to it.
  • Two Floggers that were handmade by a good friend for me.
  • Rope - I have several pieces of cotton rope that I picked up from a supply store years ago, 2 each of 3m, 5m and 10m lengths, as well as some fancy shibari rope which doesn't see nearly as much use as my reliable cotton rope does.
  • A remote control vibrator - I like to go out for dinner in between late night training sessions, and a remote control vibrator coupled with the use of deeply conditioned hypnotic triggers while in public serves to create delightful feelings of squimy wonderfulness and a deep, submissive headspace. I bought several different (and very expensive, fragile and barely functioning versions of this) including the Lush, which I found underpowered and overpriced, the interface fiddly and not fast enough and the bluetooth as weak as water. I would not recommend. Instead I've evolved to a Nusensuelle bullet vibe with remote control, waterproof, insertable, powerful and a LOT of kick in such a small size.

Don't break the bank, all you really need when you're starting out is a bag, a collar and leash, some cotton sash cord from Bunning's and some brass balls between your legs. The tools and toys don't make the Man. The attitude, does.

A good dominant friend of mine uses the same style of kit, and ass his DSLR and some photographic equipment to capture the moment perfectly.

There is also some consumables:

  • Lubricant
  • Condoms
  • Disposable Cock Rings

In addition I have some personal Items:

  • A set of warm pyjamas.
  • A toothbrush and toothpaste in a travel case.
  • A ziplock bag with a set of hotel toiletries in it (taken from an upmarket hotel. Fancy!)

Making yours Better for You

Start with this as a template, and modify to suit yourself. If you're a rope guy, add a heap more rope and drop the stuff you aren't going to use often. If you're into impact play, add some crops, some more canes or bats. You can store those in those cardboard tubes they sell for rolling up posters and mailing them, which you can buy from Australia Post.

I seal anything likely to leak (lubricant, massage oil in a container, etc) in a ziplock sandwich bag for extra security.

Keep it Lean and Sharp

Keep your loadout lean. I still occasionally run a scene with only a single implement, as a challenge to myself to explore all the different ways that it can be used. I once did a four-continuous-hour full body flogging scene with only a single flogger, it taught me a lot about how to be flexible with a single tool. Challenge yourself and keep your general loadout to just what you really need to get your thing going, you know what you like and what you are good at. Have some fucking faith in yourself.

Some Sources for Good Quality Gear

There are also a lot of great sources listed here on the Resources Page.

The Remote Control Vibe I use.

The Dildo I use for Oral Training.

The one I use for Vaginal and Anal Training. - I have one in Red.

  • Eagle Leather - The best sex store in Melbourne. Full stop. The range is unparalleled, no one else even comes close except Club X usually has a better female vibrator range. I picked up some great nipple pumps and the two dildos here. Staff are fantastic and helpful.
  • The Raven Works - Quite honestly the finest quality masculine jewellery around.
  • Eternity Collars - Steel Collars and Female Ownership Jewellery. I own several of their pieces and have never been anything but supremely pleased with them and their staff.